Nation, I, Cory Parkinson, hereby officially endorse Barack Obama for President of the United States of America, as I have from the day he began his campaign.
As one of America's foremost composers, my opinion will obviously change the minds of hundreds of thousands of voters and will no doubt guarantee that Senator Obama wins the election against Rip Van Winkle by a landslide.
Being one of the most published, performed, and highly paid composers of all time is no easy task and comes with immense responsibility. Believe me, I do not take the belabored task of endorsing a candidate, and thus throwing my entire influential weight behind one man, lightly. That being said, it took me all of 10 nanoseconds to make up my mind (back when he was just running for US Senate, mind you! I had the foresight to know he would be the best president in the history of the universe)...mainly because I have a brainstem.
Yes, I'm insinuating that anyone who votes for Father Time doesn't have a brain stem, and only people who vote for Barack do have brain stems. Aren't I clever?!?!
So, please, allow yourselves, nation, to be suaded by my immense influential stature. Succumb to my will, submit to my bidding. Barack will not do us harm, nor will I.
Take it from me. I'm a Composer!
I'm Sir Dr. Cory Alexander Parkinson, KBE, PhD, MD, ASS and I approve this message.
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